I see a relationship system as a living organism with its own wisdom

I reflect upfront and rehearse how I want to show up in a specific meeting and request the same from my team

I regularly review performance data with my team to create insight and learning

I see conflict as a signal that something new is trying to emerge

I actively invite team members to co-create a culture of safety, a space where people feel free to speak their minds

I can hold a meta-view, shifting the gaze from the individual to the whole system

I co-design upfront with a relationship system on how to be together to achieve certain business/meeting objectives

I actively work with the team on emergence and change rather than impose change top-down

I educate my team that conflict is normal, healthy, and the engine for change

I am aware of challenges in team member’s personal life and honor the challenge of that

When I hear the contributions/reactions of my team members, I consider them as both personal and a voice of the system

I co-design upfront with a relationship system on how to be together when things get difficult

I actively track and sense what is happening in the moment and reflect this to my team to enhance self-awareness

I actively invite different points of view to bring new and different information to the surface

I model vulnerability and creating from failure

If someone is not performing, I consider the personal as well as the systemic reasons for this

I co-design upfront on how the relationship system wants to work with me as a leader, and I am willing to be vulnerable here

I use tools and techniques (e.g., constellations, designing the team alliance, polling) to reveal the system to itself

I see resistance/sabotage/revenge as signs that voices have not been heard sufficiently

I support vulnerability in team members and stand for experimentation and learning

I regularly invite my team or colleagues to stand in the shoes of the relationship system and speak the “system’s view”

I invest the time required to design and review how we want to work together rather than jumping straight into the content

I value diversity of input and encourage out-of-the-box thinking

I actively allow the system to ventilate when emotions are running high and aim to de-escalate

I start a meeting with some form of check-in to get all voices in the room and get people present for the meeting

I regularly - on a piece of paper - map myself in relation to my team members or key stakeholders to get a better view of what is happening in the system

I adjust the energy I bring to a meeting, based on my conscious perception of what the system needs in any given moment

I actively use the edge model to track where we are in change processes

During conflicts, I actively look for common goals/interests and seek alignment, and I expect the same from my team

I track the energy/emotional field to sense whether it is safe for people to speak up and invite the team to co-hold responsibility for that

I believe that all voices of the relationship system need to be heard, including the unpopular ones

If relationships are challenging/problematic, I explore how I contributed to them and invite others to do the same

I see edge behaviors as indicators of what is trying to happen in a system

I recognize when a conflict becomes toxic and work this with my team

As part of creating safety in my team, I am aware when I speak first and last

I hear the wisdom aspect of each voice, even if expressed unskillfully

If I want things to go differently in my team/organization, I actively explore what I might need to change in myself to accomplish this

I regularly review whether the ground conditions for change are met for our change initiatives

When things get difficult, I refer to our team alliance and conflict protocol

I actively invite positivity in my team

In meetings, I sense shifts in the energy or atmosphere of the system and reflect them back

I hold leadership to be a role that belongs to the system and not just to me

I offer my point of view in a way that invites further dialog

I see polarization (taking fixed positions on a topic) as a signal that the conflict is not productive anymore and an intervention is needed

I strive to catch team members at their best and share it with them

I regularly educate my team about relationship systems and relationship systems intelligence

I am comfortable asking for help and input from the system and do not assume I have all the answers

I actively support my team on their emotional journey through change and invite them to do the same with the team

When difficult decisions must be made, we are clear as a team how input will be used and how decisions are made

I actively invite feedback on the impact of my leadership